You were trying to tell your husband to help out around the house, and he isn’t listening. This is a familiar complaint within committed relationships. If you are one of the many not feeling heard, then you are in good company. In this article, I’ll answer the question why won’t my husband listen to me and tell you how to fix the problem.
The Truth About Communication
A husband who doesn’t listen is a common frustration. It really boils down to one root word, communication. The biggest misconception to this communication problem is that the problem lies entirely with your significant other. Sometimes the problem is you as well.
Wait, who are you?
My name is Ashley Rodrigues. I am a wife, new mom, sleep deprived coffee lover and licensed mental health therapist. I work with individuals to try to better their quality of life and build relationships to their fullest potential. The good news is that with some honest self reflection and cooperation you can get your relationship back on track.
My Husband Won’t Listen To Me
Do you feel like you are endlessly nagging? With all do respect, you probably are. We’ve all been there, myself included. It is the little things that drive you crazy and it seems like the more you push, the worse it gets. Here is where you step back and evaluate what is driving you crazy. Is it really the dirty dishes in the sink, or is it something bigger?
Why Won’t My Husband Listen To Me?
Apologies for the cliche therapist talk, but how does it make you feel when he doesn’t do the dishes? Disrespected? Ignored? Now you can get to the root of the problem. And guess what, odds are high that you do something that drives him crazy too. Maybe he feels as ignored and disrespected as you do. Here is where you sit down and talk about it. Try leading with “Do I do anything that drives you crazy?” instead of leading with your grievances.
What Can I Do?
Humility and self reflection go a long way here. Next time, load the dishwasher the way he likes it to be loaded because you know how it makes him feel when you don’t. You both have to work to do in this case, but hopefully the lines of understanding and communication are being established.
Listening And Communication
One more common communication mistake is talking AT a partner instead to talking WITH a partner. Conversations are a two way street. If you knew that your significant other could be having this conversation with just anyone on the street, then you would go into auto-pilot mode and not really listen either. Now, if you knew your partner needed and valued your opinion and advice then you would respond much differently. All of a sudden you are a needed teammate, not just observing from the bench. So go ahead, ask for his advice. Better yet, take his advice. The result may surprise you and hopefully the dynamic of your conversations will begin to shift.
Good Communication Is Key
Relationships and conflicts are much like people, vastly different in many ways. By no means do I expect this advice to solve every problem, but I hope it at least gives you a foundation to work from and some perspective to think differently. Relationships can be hard work but that is usually what makes them so fulfilling in the end. Stay honest, stay humble, stay grateful.