You told your wife to help you with a chose, but she completely ignored you. In many marriages, communication is one of the biggest problems. In this article, I’m going to answer the question why won’t my wife listen to me, and tell you exactly how to fix the problem.
The Truth: Why Won’t My Wife Listen?
As someone who has been married for well over 20 years and was also trained as a professional journalist, I think I may have a couple of useful insights. As a journalist, one of the key skills is listening and in today’s world, that’s a skill that most people are sadly lacking. As a husband, listening is much more important than talking in most cases.
So, the issue you may be having with your wife is actually the reverse of what you think it is. Women, by nature, are usually decent listeners. Men, by nature are not. So if your wife doesn’t seem to listen to you anymore, it may be because she feels that you don’t listen to her.
Listening And Communication With Your Wife
Think about the last time the two of you had a real conversation. Who talked most? How did you react the last time she started a conversation with you? How did you react the last time you asked for her opinion on something? Or, have you ever asked her opinion? Are you seeing a pattern here?
The big problem for many people is that they don’t listen in conversations except to find a place to start talking as soon as possible. This is where many women find themselves with their spouses. They have something to say, but as soon as they start, the man hijacks the conversation and goes off in whatever direction he wants with no thought to why they were talking in the first place.
Problem Solving: How to Listen
Try a new approach. The next time your wife starts a conversation, just listen. Respond with a nod, or smile or even ask an intelligent question, but let her lead. Listen to see what she’s looking for. If she just needs to vent, let her. If she asks for an honest opinion, give her one that is honestly germane to her question and then shut up.
If you keep up this pattern, your wife will soon feel connected, appreciated and understood. And then, when you feel the need to speak to her, she’ll be in a much more receptive mood. But be aware that you should also talk to her as carefully and mindfully as possible. If you just need to vent, make that clear. But if you want her input, ask for it and truly listen to it. There’s not much point in asking for input and then blowing it off.
When You Listen, Your Wife Listens
So there you go fellow husbands. Listen more than you talk. Listen actively and attentively and you’ll probably find that listening soon becomes a happy and productive two-way street.